fulfilled!!!
haha i feel rather fulfilled today cus i did charity!!!! haha been wanting to do it for a long time but nvr had the chance to take part in one. and today thks to ms goh i get to mingle with old folks and pain their house!!! but u knw wat my fingers are starting to ach... rather tired out man... but it was really fun!anyways today our first client was this old couple haha we jus had to pain their ceiling... wow they were very hospitable... give us drinks ask us whether we wan food cus the aunty would buy it for us haha... ok so this is the work we got... dirty ceilings, stove, windows, corridor wall and a fused blub... haha! and we were suppose to JUS DO ceiling haha but as time went by the aunty jus give us more work... haha thks ah? haha but was fun!ok this is the story about the crazy ceiling... because the couple is living in a old unit the amount of paint coat for the ceiling is starting to wear off so there was like this small bubble crack... me being idiotic i went o irritated the crack then suddenly one whole chuck of the ceiling came off! haha omg.... then more came off after that! by the time we totally pull out this "wallpaper" it was like half the living room already.... hahaha jus pull only~!!! tsk! helmi u influence me in to this la! tsk! hahah! but dear pauline, let and maine help to scrap out more of it so that i can jus roll on a new coat of paint for CNY!!! hahah wah the aunty really earn already la get like pro help from us! hahah ok not come to big story!ok hahah me and jing xuan was doing the kitchen ceiling haha! i was rolling the fresh paint on the ceiling haha but my roller jus keep hitting the blub haha at first the blub went off then on again by itself so i jus went on paintin but vigerously hurting the bulb haha and in the end it explode!!! thk god the aunty nvr see!!! hahah! kk nex big story! i was investigaing another crack this time but when i start to pull a big patch of the concrete ceiling jus collapse!!! omg!!! hahhaa i was like OH SHIT IM DEAD~~~ hahaha!!! but hais all this should complain to garBERment!!! if not VERY HAZZARDESS!!! tsktsktsk!!! hahaha! but again we did a good job by coating it with fresh paint... haha doing work for that house was tough man... haha but we had a good team of ppl who sing CNY song and a idiotic toy that shouts out "xing nian quai la! hong bao na lai!!!" hahaha dam irritating!!! good job team mates!!! :)after servicing that house we went on to find miss goh where she was helping out a old malay lady with other tp students.... hahha i was able to converse with the cek in bahasa indo!!! whee whee! my bahasa getting better!!! hahha! yup she is a very nice lady... healthy too... hahaha with a tough exterior... she would like say no dnt clean her fan but haha when i distract her ms goh would clean it for her... and she will act... ahhaha!!! cute la the aunty! oh not forgeting cucing mohammad darling aka johnny.... haha! its the aunty's cat! haha dam cute and handsome too! white fur grey strips and BLUE EYES!!!! haha okok anyways after that we convince her to go get some fresh air outside and was able to see another side of her... well its nice knwing her... its a previllege.... yups pics r up in the gallery go check them out!!! ok i gtg now byebye! :)
find adler back!
finally... projects are slowly taking their step down from my shoulders... i feel much free now... much relaxed... been rather tensed lately... i havent been able to express myself and i feel like a big faker... i guess like ive always expressed in my blog this world is fake everyone wans the nice things ratehr than the bad... very superficial... im not saying that is bad but its jus against my nature to not be true to one self... all of these has lately make me wanna fight... hurt people so bad with my own two hands to express my dissatisfaction... i really dnt wanna be a emo case... i wanna be NORMAL!this few days i feel rather neglected... i feel like im not being heard... i might be saying something and ppl chose to avoid listening or answering... it did not only happen in class but also in training and home... however, i didnt rebud like b4 where ill make my stand even though ppl didnt wanna hear... i jus feel like an idiot saying hi to someone and not getting a response... being there and not being acknowledged... i feel like im invisible now... no one gives a dam about me anymore... ok now i really sound very self centered... hais... wat im jus trying to say is that i feel like there is no avenue to voice my opinion if i do ill jus get rebud back by others and in the end i jus hav to shut my gap. its a very bad feeling im like really invisible now!the otehr day i was at training i dnt kwn wat happend i dnt knw whether im working hard enough or not... im jus stuck at a stage where i jus cnt improve... i jus keep seeing my other teammates swim pass me one after the other... its very demoralising to me... and worst i dnt hav any good friends there to cheer me on... thk god there is mok... but he is seldom there... i feel like quiting... i dnt knw y am i so sensitive... i jus feel like im treated differently than b4 and i dnt like that... if from the start they hav isolated me its fine but dnt be nice to me then after like a few months jus act as if im of no significants... i trying hard to improve but no one is there to coach me. i constantly ask myself wat is the prob where can i improve in but the true fact is that im no geniues... i need coaching... i dnt wanan be ask to swim laps aimlessly like in acs... i did improve when i first joined tp but after that i was so called out cast... i guess im not swimming hard enough... i really need the right form... i keep trying trying and trying different ways of improving the stroke but im jus too fucking slow! and wat is worst is that those that r faster now has this ego in them... jus recently i accidentally knock into one of them during training and i was looked at like some ametuer that shouldnt be even training with them... i mean... man.... when u wanna be nice ppl take u for granted and i jus cnt take is anymore... in class i hav "friends" they r there for me... but r they really there for me? i dnt knw? i wanna be close to them share my joy and laughther with them but the group i was outcasted treat me like a criminal... look at me like some disgusting creature... then when in my group i tend to feel like i should jus shut up cus watever i say is not for their interest... i dnt knw how to deal with thise... i jus wanna be alone during all my breaks... but its very depressing... ive been through that in ac and its so bad that u will end up looking somewhere to hide and jus letting ur emotions out... ive tried being a contributor to my friends but im really tired over this friend thing... i mean really if u dnt wanna talk to me think that im jus a bull crap then pls voice out dnt be an hipocrite.i mean even teachers i feel that vibe from them... i really dnt knw how to carry on... im like living in self denial... i really wan all this to end i jus wanna hav ppl who cares and be true to me... im feeling very low... i feel like a wrack case... i really jus wanna go...... go away from it all... i feel like i shouldnt be here..... thought of going to paradise has constantly appear.... im a failure... and worst... i hav lost my emotions... i was really sad when writng but y has it all dissappear after reading through the entry again? my emotions go off very quickly now adays... i dnt knw who is adler anymore...
